Birth Story of Micheal Sean

Before I begin, I just wanted to add a bit of a disclaimer -- if you know me personally and don't want to picture me along with the "miracle of birth" I am going to suggest that you skip this blog post and stick to the adorable baby photos to come.  When I was pregnant I read through sooooo many birth stories.  Reading what other women went through really helped to prepare me for what was to come.  I hope that perhaps I can do the same for another new mom-to-be out there!

 

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Around 5:45 am on August 5th it all started with the cats.  I feed them around 6:00 am every morning, but they usually start bothering me for food a bit early.

 

Okay, wait, sorry...I guess I should actually start with the day before  -  August 4th.  I woke up quite early on August 4th feeling very under the weather.  It felt like I had the flu along with the worst period I had ever experienced.  I also had a terrible headache that I just couldn't shake.  My contractions were still irregular,  so I didn't quite think that I was in labour.  I was having a ton of really dull back pain though, so I thought maybe it could be labour and I just didn't know it.  I decided to take the day off of work and I called my doctor.  My doctor wasn't too concerned with the pain and discomfort, but did seem very concerned about the headache.  She told me to wait an hour and if my head still hurt then I was to go straight to the hospital.  Near the end of my pregnancy I was becoming very high risk of developing pre-eclampsia.  So my doctor was worried that I had developed high blood pressure.  I was somehow able to fall asleep for an hour and when I woke up, the headache was gone, so I ended up not rushing to the hospital after all.  Instead I spent most of my day miserable and counting contractions that never got anywhere near regular. By early evening I was feeling better and suggested to Roibeard that we go see a film.  By the end of the night I was feeling really good and even felt that I was up for working my shift the next day.

Okay, so back to August 5th and the cats...the little ones woke me up around 5:45 begging for their breakfast.  As I sat up in bed I felt a trickle...down there.  At first I didn't think too much of it as the same thing happened about a week earlier and it turned out to be nothing more than a dream.  Still, I went to the toilet to check things out and all of the sudden I have a huge, massive, gargantuan gush of liquid pouring out of me (my birth classes claimed this sort of thing only happens in the movies...they lied).  I tried to remain calm as Roibeard was still sleeping.  I came up with a plan - feed the cats, get washed up, and climb back into bed to wake Roibeard up.  As I was getting ready my plan failed as I dropped my deodorant on the floor and it broke and I couldn't find the top half.  Of course this woke Roibeard up and he was asking what was going on.  I wanted to get find the top as I didn't want it to be left on the floor for the cats to lick if we were heading to the hospital.  Then it happened...another huge, massive, gargantuan gush of liquid...this time all over the floor of our spare room.  Roibeard was getting really angry that I wasn't telling him what was going on.  But I couldn't!  This was supposed to be a wonderful exciting thing and instead I was looking for a deodorant top and gushing fluid everywhere.  Finally the gushing stopped and I fast forwarded my plan a bit to tell Roibeard.  I gently nudged him and reassured him that everything was okay...but that he did need to wake up and get dressed because we needed to head to the hospital.  I explained that my water had broken and that I was going to take a quick bath while he got things ready.  I let him know that I wasn't in much pain and didn't have any contractions.  I am so grateful that he just got up and was calm and completely understanding.  I soaked in the tub for a bit while he got ready himself and set out extra cat food dishes and water for the wee ones. We said goodbye to the kitties and headed off on our journey.  Since I wasn't in much pain we actually just took the bus to the hospital.  It was a peaceful early morning trip. 

We made it to the hospital just before 7am and I was immediately taken to triage where they began their assessment.  They had to double check to make sure my water had actually broken and I wasn't just making it up.  Of course, as they checked...whoosh...another gush of fluid came pouring out.  And so I was admitted to the hospital around 7:30am.  I was still only 2cm dilated, so I had a ways to go before anything was going to happen.  Because I was losing so much amniotic fluid so quickly they wanted to start me on Pitocin right away to induce labour. 

And so began all of the ways that my birth plan failed.  I really would have liked to have had either an all natural home water birth or an all natural birth center birth with a certified midwife.  However, those options aren't covered under my insurance.  Also, since I have a previous history of back problems Roibeard and I agreed that it would be best for me to deliver in a hospital in case anything went wrong.  I still had a clear vision of how I wanted my birth to proceed and shared this plan with my doctors and the hospital.  I wanted everything to be all natural without any medication to speed up labour or manage the pain.  I wanted to be able to walk around as much as possible.  I wanted to be able to change positions to help manage the pain.  I also wanted to breastfeed right after birth.  I did try to keep an open mind and understood that a few of these things I may have to compromise on...however, I wasn't planning on all of them changing and so fast.

I refused to let them give me Pitocin to induce labour.  I told them to at least give me awhile to see how things progressed on their own.  I was still only 2cm and my contractions were very irregular.  They agreed to give me a little time.  Roibeard and I got some light rest.  We had the "zen radio station" playing in the background on Pandora to keep the room a calm environment.  I did my best to keep in touch with my family periodically during this time.  (They are all in Michigan, so I didn't have any one there in the hospital).  I tried to change positions a few times so that gravity would help drop the baby down.  This ended up being a huge no no as anytime I moved around the fetal heart rate monitor would slide down and I'd have 10 nurses running to my room to see what was wrong.  So...being able to change positions...out the window.

Once afternoon hit the doctor and nurses came back in and told me they needed to start the Pitocin as I had only progressed to 4cm.  They explained that it was dangerous to keep losing fluid because the baby needed it for when the big moment came. Also, because my blood pressure had been really high all day they had no choice but to treat the situation as if I had developed pre-eclampsia.  They also forbid me from walking and tried to get me to go both number 1 and number 2 in a bed pan.  I had a toilet right there in my room and reminded them that being able to walk around was in my birth plan. Ever since being admitted in the morning I had the feeling of having to poop with no progress.  I didn't want that feeling in the bed.  Also, just sitting on the toilet, even if nothing was happening was really helpful with any feelings of discomfort.  The nurses had to consult with a higher up, but I ended up being cleared to use the toilet on my own.  I had to promise them I wouldn't walk anywhere other than to the bathroom and back though.  Soooo....being able to walk around...that part of my birth plan was gone.  As far as the Pitocin went, I held my own on that.  I had to agree to get Pitocin right after delivery though due to a risk of bleeding out.  Also, as far as inducing labour -- doing nothing was no longer an option at this point.  One of the nurses said that she knew of a midwife who would sometimes use a breast pump to get contractions started.  The doctor made it clear he really didn't approve of this method.  Once the contractions started there was no way to control their intensity.  Whereas with Pitocin they can give me more or less and control them at an artificially perfect level.  I went with the breast pump.

This was the point of no return.  They brought me the breast pump and I was instructed to pump for 15 minutes then take a 30 minute break and repeat.  And it worked.  I was feeling really strong contractions at this point and the feeling like I had to poop was worse than ever and no matter what I did, I couldn't go!!  Roibeard was helping me get through the contractions by massaging and applying pressure to my back.  Most of the pain was felt in my back and it really was quite awful. 

By the time we hit 6pm (12 hours of labour) I was so miserable but kept hoping it would be over soon and I'd be holding the little one in my arms.  At 8pm I was a mess.  The pain had become too intense and when I found out I still wasn't dilating fast enough I gave in and asked them to give me the IV meds.  I felt crushed.  This birth wasn't going as planned at all.  I figured the meds would be enough to get me through until it was time to push.  Wrong.  They did completely take the edge off the pain but also made me incredibly tired.  I managed to sneak in a nap, but woke up as the meds were wearing off...around 10PM.  I agreed to one more dose, which lasted until midnight.  At this point the pain was so bad that I was swearing like a sailor and really upset.  I didn't want another dose of IV meds because I didn't want to be so sleepy when it came time to push.  Things were still progressing very slowly at this point and I knew it was still going to be hours until we had a baby.  I gave in and asked for the epidural...pretty much throwing my whole birth plan out the window.  I feel like if I had been able to walk around and change positions I would have been able to manage the pain.  However, because I was stuck on my back unable to move without 10 nurses running into the room I just couldn't handle the pain.  It was so awful and with no idea of how much longer it would be it was just too much.  I was completely beyond crushed at this point.  I was so worried that the medication would effect the breastfeeding and the bonding. 

I ended up having to get through an entire bag of IV fluids before they could give me the epidural.  The nurse told me it should only take 10-15 min...I knew she was full of it. It took an hour to get through that bag.  That hour between midnight and 1AM seemed to last a lifetime.  I was trying so hard to keep it together, but I was just miserable.  The contractions were coming so fast and were so intense at this point that I didn't have much of a break in between.  I was swearing and shouting and straight up out of my mind.  I felt so bad for Roibeard who wanted nothing more than to help comfort me.

Finally around 1AM the anaesthesiologist came in to start my epidural.  I had never been more excited about being poked with a needle in my entire life.  At the same time though I was still feeling like a complete failure for giving in and going through with it.  I was one huge mixed bag of emotions.  Luckily my epidural was done really well.  I could still feel everything but the pain was really taken down quite a bit.

By this point I was around 6cm dilated.  Not baby time yet.  So once my pain was at a manageable level Roibeard and I both tried to get a little bit of rest. 

At 4am the nurse came in to check me again....BABY TIME!  I was finally, finally, finally fully dilated.  This baby was coming!  Only...nothing happened.  I was told that I was ready but then everyone left the room. Back to nap time it was.  They came in again at 5 to check on me and told me it was almost time. Almost time?  I was ready!  Dilated!  What is with this almost time nonsense? 

Around 6am it was finally time for some practice pushes.  I wasn't expecting so many people in the room...a doctor, a few nurses, and a medical student.  They taught me how to hold my legs and gave me instructions on how and when to push. I wasn't expecting it to feel like a had to take a massive poop.  I guess that's normal. I mean...everyone told me that I probably was going to poop.  But no one told me the pushing would feel like the worst case of constipation ever. The practice pushes weren't too bad, but the discomfort was quite unpleasant.  Roibeard did well to encourage me and keep me in good spirits the best he could.  Around 7am the staff did a shift change, so we stopped and I was instructed to use the pump again to keep the contractions coming.
 
Once 7:45 hit I had a new staff and we started pushing again.  I did pretty well.  The staff weren't entirely use to having someone push who wasn't on Pitocin.  They had to explain to the medical students that my contractions were the real thing and since they were being regulated by my body and not by medication it was taking a lot longer.  My body was built that way to give me a rest between them. After about 2 hrs of pushing my doctor came in to see how well I was progressing. She noticed that the baby's head was not in the right position.  He was facing sideways.  She told us that she would give us an hour to get the baby's head to turn.  If it was still stuck when she came back then I needed to understand that they were going to take me in for an emergency C-section.  I couldn't believe it.  After being in the hospital for over 24 hrs by this point and spending all of this time pushing and all of the pain I went through before the epidual...it was all going to come down to a C-section. I felt awful.  Nothing about the birth had gone as planned.  I always knew some things would probably change, but I didn't expect for everything to go wrong!

Luckily the doctor was able to reach up and manually move the head into the correct position.  Phew.  I kept pushing and pushing and pushing...until...finally they could see a head!  I had such a rush of adrenaline knowing that he was right there.  I asked to touch him and they guided my hand...and it was soooooooo goopy....and gross...but oh my gosh it didn't matter because he was RIGHT THERE. The discomfort at this point was indescribable. Still, knowing he was close gave me the strength to go on. 

Then the birth happened.  Around noon I did my second to last push...and then everything went to hell. You have to push on a contraction, right? Well, my second to last contraction wasn't quite enough to get him all of the way out...but it was enough to get his head halfway out....oh my gosh.  Never have I experienced anything more unpleasant or painful in my life.  My contractions were still unpredictable and I had half a head sticking out of my who-ha.  That is when I just lost my mind. I am so embarrassed, but I just panicked.  I started screaming and screaming as loud as I could.  I wasn't controlling my breathing.  I wasn't listening to anyone.  I was shouting.  And I'm pretty certain that I kicked either a nurse or a medical student.  My doctor finally was able to talk some sense into me.  It was tough love, but it worked.  She told me that the reality of the situation was that I had half of baby's head delivered.  This was not good.  The birth was no longer about me.  It was all about him now and I needed to concentrate, be strong, and push.  As out of my mind as I was at that point, what she said got through to me.  I took a deep breath and finally started to feel that contraction coming.  I knew that this was going to be it. One more push then sweet relief.  I let the staff know that I was ready and I gave it everything I had and it worked!  Micheal Sean was born at 12:06 pm on August 6th, 2015. I was expecting a feeling of relief like all of my books had said, but what it really felt like was being gutted alive.  I mean everything just came pouring out.  Baby and fluid and gross stuff.

BUT...once that moment ended I was just so thrilled that Micheal was finally here.  I was smiling and mumbling about how wonderful it was, but I couldn't really see him because Roibeard and all of the medical staff were blocking my view.  I was looking around and I was so confused as to why no one else was smiling.  I had just given birth!  We had a baby boy!  How come no one thought this was amazing?!  Then all of the sudden without any warning the doctor and nurses started pressing as hard as they could on my abdomen.  There was blood...so much blood.  Too much blood.  It was awful.  I was screaming.  Finally they told me that the placenta didn't come out so they had to deliver it for me.  Ugh. It was awful.  Remember how just 2 seconds ago I mentioned that there was blood?  Well once they got the placenta out it wouldn't stop.  The nurses were rushing the baby to the NICU and Roibeard went with them.  He later told me that when he left that room he really thought that I was going to die in there and that he would never see me again.

It was a really frightening experience, but I made it through and so did the baby.  It turned out that he wasn't breathing right away when he was born.  He also had a fever, so that's why they took him away. 

Micheal stayed in the NICU the first night and then on and off for the next two days.  I was kept in the hospital for three days as well because I also had a fever when he was born, so they were also monitoring me.

We went home on Saturday, August 8th and were greeted by three wonderful kitties.

And that's our story.  As crazy and awful as it was....(30 hrs of labor with 4 hrs of pushing) I wouldn't change it for the world.  I love the little guy too much.  And what they say is true -- you do forget the pain.  I know it happened.  I can visualize myself in that hospital bed screaming like a banshee, but I really can't remember the pain -- cheese ball alert -- maybe because there's just too much joy now. <3

 

IRELAND! Dublin

 

Our very last stop in Ireland was to Dublin.  We only spent one day there and it wasn't even a full day, more like an afternoon/evening.  Once we reached our b&b and were able to set all of our luggage down we headed out without any real plan in mind. We saw St. Patrick's Cathedral and spent a lot of time in the Temple Bar neighbourhood, but mostly we just walked around the streets and took it all in.  We found a cute little artsy cinema that is exactly what I want our cinema to be like.  They were showing independent films, had a cute little café, and they also had a little store where they sold film books and dvds.  It was the perfect little community space.  We also discovered an American 1950s style late-night diner where we treated ourselves to ice cream.

 

Sometimes not having a plan is the best way to discover a new place.

 

I had so much fun during this trip last year and I cannot wait to return!!!

 

IRELAND! A Day in the North

 

 

 

This post is a little photo heavy, so I'm just going to pop in with a quick word so that you have some context.  After Doolin (the Cliffs of Moher) we returned back to Belfast to spend a little more time with Roibeard's family.  The delicious cake was made by Roibeard's sister to celebrate our recent engagement.  We had a party at a local pub in the evening.  During the day we took a guided trip up to The Giant's Causeway with Roibeard's brother and mum.  There were a few stops along the tour that included a castle, whiskey distillery, and the Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge.

 

The story of The Giant's Causeway involves two giants, Fionn MacCumhaill (the Irish giant) and Benandonner (the Scottish giant).  Fionn lived on the Antrim coast and one day gazed across the sea where he saw Benadonner.  The two challenged each other to a fight but neither had any way to get across the sea.  So Fionn began building a pathway that went from Ireland to Scotland.  Once it was complete and he finally got a glimpse of Benandonner up close he freaked out and feared his massive size.  Fionn retreated to Ireland with Benandonner following behind him.  Fionn convinced his wife, Oonagh to quickly disguise him as a baby.  When Benadonner barged in, he was terrified.  He saw the baby and thought, if that's just the size of the baby, what must the full grown giant look like?!  Benandonner raced back to Scotland and tore up the pathway as he went.  What is left of the path is now known as The Giant's Causeway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome Micheal Sean!!

Born August 6th, 2015.  Weight: 8 lb 2.5 oz.  Length: 21".

Welcome to the family little dude!

IRELAND! Cliffs of Moher

 

I figured that I would schedule the remainder of my Ireland posts for while I'm recovering from giving birth and spending time bonding with the babe.  Today's post is from when we visited the Cliffs of Moher.  This is one of the things that I was looking forward to the most during our trip to Ireland.

 

The Cliffs of Moher are 700 feet high and stretch 5 miles long across the western coast of the country.  If you look up photos of them, you'll see why I wanted to go - they are beautiful, mystical, and magical.  Perfect for an adventure on the sea.

 

If you scroll down, you'll see that only the last two photos are of the cliffs themselves.  All of the other photos were taken while we were killing time before we got on the boat (and while I was still in good spirits).  I have never been one to get sea sickness - ever.  I love boat rides.  This experience however changed all of that very quickly.

 

Once we got on the boat I made my first mistake:  I dragged Roibeard and I down to the bottom floor of the ship.  There was no one down there, everyone else had all taken spots up top.  I thought it was only because they thought they would have a better view.  Haha, suckers (or so I thought).  Then I made my second mistake (which is the one that finally did me in) - I started going through my camera so I could delete some photos to make more room on my memory card.  Awful  idea.  The waves were really rough and with the combination of the boat rocking so much and me staring at a fixed screen while everything around me was moving was too much.  It took only a few minutes for me to start turning green.  I went to sit down, hoping it would pass after a few minutes, but it only got worse.  I ended up barfing all over the tiny boat toilet several times.  The remainder of the one hour journey I spent on one of the benches curled up in the fetal position with my eyes shut as tight as I could make them.  Every second I just kept hoping that it was over. 

 

I couldn't even so much as lift my head once we actually made it to the cliffs.  I never actually saw them.  Roibeard took a few photos and that's the only way I was able to experience them. 

 

If I ever go back I think I'll skip the boat ride and just hike them instead. ;) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week 39: A Very Merry Un-Birthday!

Oh my gosh...don't I just look so bizarre with my bangs pinned back?  I look like a completely different person.  It always throws me a bit off.  It has just been so hot lately that I can't stand to have any amount of hair whatsoever touching my face.  Ugh, I just hate it!! 

 

Anyway, this post isn't quite from week 39.  I cheated a bit.  The photos are from early in week 38 and I'm writing this from the later part of week 38.  You know, artistic license and all that.  Actually I wanted to write it now because Roibeard is pretty much convinced that the baby is coming either Sunday (August 2nd) or Monday (August 3rd).  He's one of those people who is usually right when he gets "a feeling" about something.

 

I'm going to have a few scheduled posts after this point, but I won't be updating about the baby or the birth experience until I've had some time to recover.  At the most I may just do a super quick birth announcement post.

 

However, if you want to see an overload of adorable baby photos feel free to follow my instagram:

 

https://instagram.com/catseabird/

 



 

 

As you can see from the above photo, last week was cause for a serious celebration: my un-birthday!!  Don't know what an un-birthday is?  Well it's any day that's not your birthday of course!  Go watch the animated Disney version of Alice in Wonderland and you'll understand.  Roibeard spoiled me by stuffing my face with amazing Mexican food for lunch and incredible Indian food for dinner.  It was wonderful.  Especially since these past few weeks I've been able to eat a normal amount of food in a sitting.

 

Then in the evening we made it to our first Cubs game ever.  Seeing as Roibeard is Irish and has only lived in Chicago for just under two years it's understandable that he has never been to a game.

For me though...I've spent nearly 1/3 of my life in Chicago (almost 10 years!) so I really don't have an excuse. 

 

Neither one of us are really sports people and went just for the fun of it.  Roibeard even bought me a hat to make the night authentic, haha.  I'm sure the people around us thought we were nuts as we were joking around about the teams, confused by some of the plays, and talking about how the Cubs were sucking at first.  Because, well, they were.  It took them like 4 or 5 innings to get a homerun.  They ended up winning and we got to eat ice cream from plastic Cubs hats, so all in all it was a really nice early birthday.

For realsies this time...this will be my last time posting before I officially become a "mom"!  Next outfit post will be sure to include short hair and "mom jeans".  I mean, don't they just supply them in the delivery room as part of your take home freebies?

Week 38: The Nursery and Pregnancy in Review

Yay!  Finally the nursery is complete!  Well, almost.  If you ask me, I'll say there's still more to do.  For the most part though everything is set up and organized - ready for baby.

I made the welcome home banner with paper from old Trader Joe's bags.  I was slightly superstitious about putting it up when it may still be a few weeks before Micheal decides to move out of my belly.  However, in the end I decided that it's one less thing for me to worry about once labour begins. 

The "M" I got from Michael's.  They have all sorts of wooden letters, perfect for monogramming just about anything.  I had to sand it down and paint it myself, but overall it was a super quick and easy job to accomplish.

Once Micheal has been home for a while I'll take the banner down and I'm going to make him his first painting - the loch ness monster, to be hung in that same spot. 

I'm sure you've noticed, but our nursery theme is, "under the sea" with a secondary theme of "forest creatures".  As our little one grows and starts sharing his personality I'm sure these themes will grow and change along with him.

I wish we were able to paint the walls, but since we rent it all has to stay white.  We did our best to incorporate colour into the room though.  I sure hope the little guy likes it.  I actually sort of wanted to avoid so much blue as the stereotypical colour for boys.  With the sea theme though it kind of just became a thing.  I've been slowly trying to get some more greens in there.  I'm tryin'. 

*I just wanted to say thank you to all of our family and friends who have helped us with getting started.  We truly appreciate it so much.  Without you guys Micheal would probably end up sleeping in a cardboard box.*

Seriously, everyone has been so great and supportive.  From lending me maternity clothes to organizing a baby shower to gift cards for groceries once the baby gets here...everyone has just been so thoughtful.  It means to so much to us!!

Now that the nursery is all set up and ready to go I thought it would be a good time to take a moment and review this journey.

First Trimester: December -February

My first trimester was rough, really rough.  I ended up breaking the news around 8 weeks instead of the more socially acceptable 12 weeks because I was just so miserable.  I was sick all of the time.  I also had to eat like clockwork every two hours.  It didn't really make much sense because of the nausea but for whatever reason not eating would throw me into an equal pit of despair and vomit.  Every morning that I left for work I had to make sure that I had enough snacks packed to last me the entire day.  Not just in the morning, but all day long.  I was also unbelievably exhausted all of the time.  Once 7/8PM hit each night I was down for the count.  I started to withdraw from people and sought solitude at work.  I hated being so moody all of the time for what probably seemed like no reason.  So that's why I decided to break the news early.  I was relieved that if I were cranky, sick, or exhausted that people would finally understand why. 

We knew that if we were having a girl that we wanted to name her Lile.  I'm named Catherine Lillian after my grandmother, Lillian Catherine and I thought that it would be nice to keep the tradition alive.  If we were to have a boy though we weren't entirely sure.  Roibeard had previously suggested Michael after my dad, which I thought would be  nice, but also didn't quite feel right.  Then one night we were watching an Irish film together and one of the characters was named, "Micheal", pronounced, "Me-Hall".  We instantly fell in love and knew that it would be perfect.  There's a fada over the "i" and the "a", but I don't know how to do special characters in blogger (sorry).  Roibeard definitely wanted a little boy, but I would have been happy either way.  Little girls get the cuter clothes, but I've always been a bit of a tomboy, so I thought a little boy would be nice too.

Around January I went to my OB/GYN to get checked out.  They confirmed the pregnancy and made me come back a week later to double check my blood count just to make sure the baby was alive and growing.  I went back and all was good.  They explained that they didn't do any prenatal care at their clinic though and gave me a list of places to go.

And so began my near two months of doctor woes.  I looked up the list of places that the doctor gave me and they all had terrible (and I mean terrible) reviews.  So I started investigating on my own.  Keep in mind that I was working around 60 hours per week at this point, so if I tried to call a place on my day off and I wasn't given a response I'd have to wait another whole week before I could call them back.  It was non stop back and forth between the doctors and the insurance companies.  Neither one wanted to be helpful. 

Finally, I gave up and called one of the places that the OB/GYN had recommended.  I called on a Friday and they told me to come in the following Monday.  Since it was a walk-in clinic Roibeard and I left first thing in the morning.  It was a bitter cold day in February and there was a terrible blizzard that we had to fight through.  So we get to the clinic, head on upstairs...and NO ONE is there. Not even a janitor.  Our souls were crushed and we were cold, tired, and cranky.  We decided to give it a few minutes as we weren't too eager to head back out into the blizzard.  Finally a few more people come in and take a seat and wait, but still no one who works there.  I think about 30 minutes passed when finally some of the nurses came in.  They apologized and after checking their emails informed everyone that the staff was on a "snow day" and they only came in because they failed to get the memo.  So they took me back and made me take another pregnancy test.  They informed me that I was in fact pregnant!  I laughed and asked them to tell me something I did't already know.  They took me into a room and explained that they couldn't begin treatment as the hospital that they work with was out of network.  The clinic was in network, but the hospital wasn't...go figure.  So they took all of my info, made copies of my insurance card and i.d. and told me that they would be in touch soon.  They were going to check if I could receive my prenatal care there and just deliver from a different hospital. Rarr.  I was upset, but agreed.  I waited two weeks for them to call back.  It never happened.  So I called to see what was going on and the woman that I spoke with said that they had no record of me ever having come in.  I explained that it was the day of the blizzard and that they took down all of my information.  She insisted that they had nothing, no insurance card, i.d., paperwork, not even the results from the pregnancy test.  She was rude and impatient and said my only option was to come in and take another pregnancy test and go from there.  WTF?!  I was nearing my second trimester at that point...I didn't need another pregnancy test!!!  I needed treatment.  Ugh.

So back to the drawing board it was.  I called my insurance company again and asked them for more doctors.  Again they weren't very helpful, but gave me the name of a clinic.  So, I called the clinic, but they claimed that doctor was out of network and I'd have to call the insurance company. Rarrrrr!!!  I had just called the insurance company!  I finally (after an hour of arguing) got them to agree to at least schedule me for an appointment.  Their first available appointment wasn't until the end of March.  I told them that in the meantime I'd call my insurance company and sort things out.  They were very reluctant, but finally agreed.  I was relieved that I had an appointment but still stressed knowing that it may not lead to anything.

Finally, one day on a whim I decided to call my insurance company one last time...just to see.  I actually got a decent human being on the phone who was so helpful and gave me the name of a nice clinic really close to my apartment.  IN NETWORK!!!  I held my breath as I called them...worried it was too good to be true...

And they were happy to take me on as a new patient!!  I had an appointment booked for early March and all of my insurance info cleared, both with the clinic and their hospital.  Oh my gosh!!  It was a true weight lifted off of my shoulders!  I was just so happy.

Second Trimester: March-May

We finally made it to our first prenatal check up in March and the second that I heard our baby's heartbeat and saw him on the

sonogram for the first time I started weeping.  It was amazing.  This weird little parasite that had been growing inside me was no parasite after all but our amazing, sweet, little baby. 

We had an additional ultrasound scheduled with the hospital because my last menstrual cycle had been very irregular and they were unable to determine a due date. 

In the meantime I was still experiencing a lot of morning sickness.  I was so sure that it was just never going to end.  On the plus side I was beginning to have more energy again and was feeling more social.  I was finally starting to develop a cute little baby bump and was enjoying trying to dress it up as much as I could.  It was still freezing outside at this point and so I had to wear a lot of open sweaters and cardigans.  My pull over sweaters looked ridiculous as they had taken on the appearance of belly shirts.

It was around this time that I stopped going to my yoga classes.  I was doing my best to stay healthy and fit, but it was getting to the point where it was starting to do me more harm than good.  Instead I tried to make sure I walked to and from the cinema at least 4 times a week.  I had reduced my hours at the café and started working a little more at the cinema.  It would vary between 40-50 hours/week.  The schedule was tough to keep up with, especially now that doctors' appointments were thrown into the mix and my caffeine intake was so limited, but somehow I made it through.

We finally had our ultrasound appointment at the hospital.  We found out that we were having a healthy baby boy!  Yay for Micheal!  We were also given a due date of August 10th.  Only five days before my birthday.  I don't know if it's a Leo thing or if it's just me being a brat, but I don't want to share my birthday. (You hear that Micheal?!  If you come five days late you're pretty much going to be grounded for life!)

Anyway, around half way through my second trimester the morning sickness finally ended and the acid reflux started up.  Out of the frying pan and into the fire.  Seriously, why does tv and film trick you into believing that pregnancy is this amazing time where you can just eat all of the food you want and then some?  Cheese always made me sick from the beginning (still can't have it), but other things that I've gone through phases of not being able to eat are: sweets, rice, pasta, pasta sauce, tomatoes, hummus, apples, bananas, eggs, avocado, nuts, breakfast bars, and bread.  Some have been worse than others and some (like sweets) I am finally able to eat again.  I still have to take a bottle of tums with me everywhere I go.  To this day most food makes me feel at least a little bit ill.  If I can get through a meal with minor stomach upset I consider it a victory. 

My ankles started swelling around the middle of my second trimester and I started experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions here and there. They were mild, but still unpleasant. My hips, back, and legs were really taking a toll at this point and I was getting sciatic nerve pain regularly.

BUT little Micheal was always on the move, kicking regularly, and every time that I felt him it would make me forget all of that awful pain. 

In May we started taking our birth classes and learned quite a bit.  We took prepared childbirth, breastfeeding, and infant care.  The classes freaked me out quite a bit, but somehow made Roibeard completely calm.  They let us take a tour of the hospital, which was really nice.  I can visualize the birth process more clearly now that I have seen the rooms.

Also in May we had our baby shower back in Michigan.  It was a really nice shower thrown by my mom and aunt.  We got a lot of amazing stuff for the babe and the process of getting the nursery together slowly started.  Unfortunately this meant closing the door to the room and keeping the cats away.  They are still pissed about this.

Third Trimester: June-August

Once my third trimester hit I really started having a difficult time getting around.  Work became really difficult even though I was only working at the café 4 hours/day at that point.  It was becoming more and more difficult to wake up at 5 AM every morning. It was becoming more and more difficult to fall asleep at night.  Also, it was non-stop rain every day.  So on top of my pregnancy pains I was dealing with severe pain from my previous back injury.  I was starting again to withdraw and became less and less social once again.

I also started feeling Micheal kick less and less each day.  This was difficult for me as stated above, his little kicks had become my coping mechanism.  I was so sad that he was fading from me.  My doctor reassured me that this was all normal though.

Once summer hit my ankles and feet went from being normal preggo ankles and feet to being severely swollen.  For the past month my legs have joined them and everything is swollen to the point where even my doctor is concerned.  They are monitoring me to make sure that I'm not developing pre-eclampsia.  Fun stuff. 

Also once summer started the over-heating started.  I've always been one to deal well with the heat and always welcome it over the cold.  Pregnancy completely changed that.  I'm still glad it's not the dead of winter...but the sweat....oh my gosh...the sweat...it's so disgusting.  I sometimes have to jump in the shower not to wash, but to just run cold water over my body for a few minutes to bring my temperature down.  Other times I just stand with the freezer door open.  Yesterday Roibeard caught me with a paper towel stuffed in my bra.  I had a bunch of ice wrapped in that paper towel.  Trust me, when you are pregnant you will find creative ways to cool yourself down.  Stuffing ice down your bra will just become a normal thing.

Anyway, we are now at the tail end of July and so so so close to D-Day.  Right now I'm only working at the cinema and only just a few days of the week.  I really don't think that I could handle much more.  Over the past two weeks the Braxston Hicks contractions that I have been feeling since my 2nd tri have become (at times) excruciating.  I've also had the joy of experiencing a few normal contractions in my back as well.  Oh my gosh...terrible.  Really really terrible.  It's such a mind f*** at this point as I never know if it's the real deal.  I downloaded an app on my phone for counting contractions, so every time I feel them I start the counter.  Sometimes they get stronger and regular...but so far nothing that has remained consistent for an entire hour.  At my last appointment I was told that I'm now 2 cm dilated.  The placenta moved into a good position and the baby's head is facing down.  So everything is ready.

Having never been through this though I'm starting to get so antsy about whether or not it's time. 

A few changes in my behaviour as of right now are:

Today I finally slept.  Like, really slept.  13 hours to be exact.  I felt groggy and drugged when I finally woke up. (Up to this point I have not been able to successfully sleep through the night and have been heavily "nesting" even when I should be completely exhausted.)

I'm on and off either ravenously hungry or want nothing to do with food ever again.  It changes every few hours.

The baby has really dropped and I'm "carrying low".  Hooray for being able to breath again!!!

I'm increasingly cranky and/or depressed every day.  I'll just start crying or become unreasonably angry for no reason.  Even the cats have gotten on my nerves a few times.

And of course...as stated a million times already...those pesky practice contractions. 

Like just about every mom out there, now that I'm at this point I want nothing more than for it to be over.

Even with all of the pain I've been going through I still have my mind made up about not having an epidural.  I've started working on breathing exercises and different labour positions. I have started to focus on visualising the birth in my head. I have started visualising little Micheal being placed to my chest and that first contact being made.  I know a lot of people think I'm nutso for not wanting the pain killers, but I've dealt with awful chronic pain for a long time now.  I know what works for me and I need to be able to move around to get through it.  Being stuck on my back unable to move or feel the bottom half of my body just sounds awful to me.  I'm in no way criticizing anyone who chooses an epidural.  For me though I need that pain to guide me.  I keep telling Roibeard that his job in the hospital is to keep reminding me that my body was made to be able to do this. 

So we'll see.  Oh!  I forgot to mention that Roibeard has started reading to little Micheal.  The little guy just loves it!  These are the positive thoughts that I hold onto when I think about how I'm going to get through this. <3